Have you found that your social media posts and email inboxes have been flooded with “New Year, New You” posts or hacks on how to create new habits. Planners fill the shelves at shops or the side tabs of pop-up adverts. When the first days of January hit, many of us spring into organisation mode and start spring cleaning or rearranging. Or maybe we spread out pastel colour highlighters and coloured pens as you write in your plans for the year.
Something that the last year has taught me is that we can’t plan on anything. There came a point last year when I stopped telling my children what the plan was because things were so often cancelled or postponed. And there came a point where I stopped getting excited for things because, sure enough, someone was sick. Or Covid regulations cancelled plans. I tried to psyche myself “down” and calm my expectations.
Despite my efforts, January the first dawned with stress. I found myself anxious about many things. The New Year that was “supposed” to bring joy, hope and peace brought anxiety, debt and fear about what we were getting ourselves into in 2022! Instead of spending the first day of the year chilling and preparing for the new year, the day was filled with scary possibilities.
We all happily waved goodbye to 2020, so relieved to have seen the back of such a strange and uncertain year. But, at the end of 2021, it wasn’t as easy to flip open the new diary to a clean page. Rather than pull out the planner, many of us peeked into the darkness of our diary, closed it and walked away – too scared to start another uncertain and scary year.
I am still waiting for 2022 to start. Still not feeling those “New Year vibes”. Like a meme I saw, January has been a trial run. 2022 starts in February! I begun the New Year recovering from Covid. I tried frantically to put plans in place for a brand new year of being dedicated to paying more attention to blogging and posting on Instagram. What a joke! Nearly the end of the month and not a blog post to speak of. I hoped to help my husband out more with his NPO. That’s all on ice. And then, 3 days into the new term, when I was starting to rejoice that we had a routine again, enter the flu. I am not usually one to rest. Today, I have not moved from my bed, except to fetch and carry from school to swimming to home. As I lie here, looking at a washing basket full of new habits I’ve already broken, I can’t help but be really disenchanted about how this year has started.
Anyone else with me?
I guess I’m also not sure where God wants me. I’m filled with the desire to fill my home with people again. But feeding people costs money, which is in short supply at the moment. I want to help mentor people and welcome new people into our church and community. But by the time the weekend rolls around, it is just too much effort. I want to start a playgroup but the nerves of having people pay me for a service and making me answerable to them is a scary sort of pressure. I am trying to start Moms’ group again, but the commitment of prep and having people with kiddies in my home a fourth day in a row is stressful. I would love to help my husband get his NPO off the ground but need contacts, time and moola.
When I opened my Bible in the early days of this month, I didn’t go out looking for a verse of the year but this one stood out and seemed to speak into my current frame of mind.
“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
While feeling in this state of limbo, a place where I’m not sure where to focus my energy, attention and time, this verse reminded me that Christ has prepared the way ahead. He has written every day of my life. Not one goes by “wasted.” Sure, I can waste my time but God is bigger than the way I choose to spend each day and has worked out everything according to His will.
The past few weeks in church, the kiddies have been learning about how God created everything for His glory and our good. While I don’t know where I am going or what God has prepared for me and my family this year, I can rest in this assurance – He will get the glory and I will do good works for Him as I continue to seek His will.
So in spite of the fact that I feel no “New Year vibes”, I invite you, along with me to find a quiet spot outside today, just for 10 minutes. Drink in the fresh air, look at the sky and commit the New Year into His hands. Come what may. Knowing He has gone before, written your story and crafted your days to be for His glory and your good.
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