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July 3, 2018 in

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And that pretty much sums up what I feel about bei And that pretty much sums up what I feel about being a mom!

#rawmotherhood #wearingallmyhats #momblog #momblogger #mommyblogger #mommyblog #samomblogs #samommyblogger #christianmom #mom #mommy #motherhood #mommyhood #exhausted #proudmom #tired #happy #sad #motherhoodunfiltered #quote #quoteoftheday #quotes
We all do what believe is best for our kids. #mo We all do what believe is best for our kids. 

#mommy #momlife #wearingallmyhats #momblog #momblogger #mommyblogger #mommyblog #samomblogs #samommyblogger #christianmom #children #motherhoodunfiltered #motherhood
Don't know what that is? It's my daughters' hair. Don't know what that is? It's my daughters' hair. Plural. Both daughters! Curls gone. Hair gone. Mom upset and incredulous. Unsure what consequence to give that will communicate "This is not okay!" and saying sorry won't really cut it (excuse the pun!)

It's in moments like this that mom guilt rears its awful head! What am I doing wrong? Yes, all kids have a try at a snip at some point. But, for me, this problem is deeper. My daughter doesn't have a strong conscience like mine. I wouldn't have DARED to do something like this that would displease my parents. Maybe I cut my hair. But to cut off and go onto her sister means that at no point was she convicted to stop. It was a MOUND of hair! 

In these (many!) moments of parenting, I wonder...not wonder, know...I've been too harsh. There are too many rules. Is she rebelling? What have I done? What have created? What is her sinful nature and what is my sinful parenting?

This cutting of hair is an indication of a heart problem for me. If it was just an isolated instance, I would be upset, toss the hair in the bin and move on. But it's not. She has scribbled with crayon everywhere for 2 and a half years - no remorse because the behaviour continues despite multiple consequences and changing them up to try and find her currency. 

Sometimes I despair because I just can't compute defiance. Sometimes I think it's my doing because I'm so strict and she doesnt know how to cope. Sometimes I think I don't give them enough attention because I'm always cleaning my house or on my phone. Honestly, I suspect there is truth in all of that. 

Today started off with no stamina to parent. Praise the Lord, I feel a little stronger now.

I've had some tea and some time alone. And there is giggling in the next room. Maybe this day won't be so bad after all...

What would you have done if your child did this??

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This is no easy feat. Loving someone doesn't alway This is no easy feat. Loving someone doesn't always mean that you like them to start off with. Sometimes loving take effort and we have to love fully and extravagantly in spite of our feelings.

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It's hard to remember this but know that when I fr It's hard to remember this but know that when I friend gently says something to you, it's taken guts. 
Learn from their words. Say nothing before you've chewed it over. And look at yourself objectively. 
There's probably truth...

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"Know that I crashed last week. And I had to climb "Know that I crashed last week. And I had to climb out of the mess and assess the damage. As I sat surveying the carnage in my head, I had to sift through the thoughts and emotions and figure out what needed to be salvaged and what needed to go to the scrapyard.
I collided with my pride. My anger. My hurt. My lack of forgiveness. And, worst of all, my faults."

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